Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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