we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
