You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
