just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
