I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
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Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
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I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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