What a fucking waste of an outfit
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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