i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
