pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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