after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
