I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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