Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
