Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
