I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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