I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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