Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
