you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
