does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
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Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
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I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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