Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
