By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
