You really coming over, don't trick.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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