i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
