Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize