so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
