You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Drake has all the answers
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
