Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
