Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
