People in love make me want to vomit
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
