Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
