sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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