Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
