im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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