pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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