Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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