Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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