so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
