When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
