Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
