Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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