Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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