my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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