I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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