So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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