I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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