Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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