I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
