You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
