I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize