New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
