even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
