she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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