No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
