I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
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She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
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I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.