Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
These 25 Drunks Shouldâ€™ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
27 Freshmen Who Really Didnâ€™t Know What They Were Getting In To
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder