If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
