so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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