It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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