Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
