you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize