theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
