You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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