When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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