I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
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