would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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