what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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