I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
It's just like the Real World with babies
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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