never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
