I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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