I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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