Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
