If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
